Chinese idioms about getting along with others
Our proverbs come with full information. The modern Chinese characters are given first with links that give information on the character. As proverbs are so old you will often see them written using the traditional form of characters; so if some of the characters have been simplified the traditional form is shown in brackets and gray text. The characters are followed by the proverb (normally a 成语 chéng yǔ) in pinyin. Next, there is a crude character by character transliteration into English, followed by a more accurate English translation. If this is a Chinese proverb alluding to history the meaning may still not be clear in English, so the general meaning follows. Finally some proverbs have fairly direct English equivalents, if so the English proverb is shown.
For background on the types and history of proverbs please see our guide.
Everyone is different, so proverbs that stress the importance of rubbing along together are helpful.
半斤八两 [半斤八兩]
Two equivalent measures
Nothing to choose between two alternatives.
Roughly equivalent to: Six of one, and half a dozen of the other.
迟开的花未必不香 [遲開的花未必不香]
A late-blooming flower is not necessarily lacking in fragrance
It's never too late to try something new.
吃软不吃硬 [吃軟不吃硬]
Only able to chew tender food, not the tough
Unable to withstand harsh criticism.
穿新鞋,走老路 [穿新鞋走老路]
Wear new shoes but follow old paths
Stick to the old ways while appearing to follow the latest trends.
大发雷霆 [大發雷霆]
Develop large thunderstorm
Fly into a furious rage.
Roughly equivalent to: To spit nails.
恩将仇报 [恩將仇報]
Repay kindness with hostility
Reject kindness.
Roughly equivalent to: Biting the hand that feeds it.
凡人不可貌相, 海水不可斗量 [凡人不可貌相海水不可斗量]
Neither a person can be judged by his looks nor can the sea be fathomed
Judging by appearance is dangerous.
Roughly equivalent to: Don't judge a book by its cover.
负荆请罪 [負荊請罪]
To carry a cane and ask to be punished
Admit a fault and offer an apology. The story is from the Zhou dynasty when Lin Xiangru of the Zhao kingdom had an adversity in Lian Po. Lian Po used every opportunity to dis his boss Lin Xiangru. Lian Po was then shown that solidarity was key to the state's survival and offered a humble apology. Lian Po carried brambles on his back for some distance to show his contrition.
Roughly equivalent to: Swallowing your pride.
斧快不怕木柴硬
A sharp axe does not fear hard wood
A talented person is not afraid of a difficult task.
海纳百川 [海納百川]
All rivers run to the sea
We all share a common destiny.
好马不吃回头草 [好馬不吃回頭草]
A good horse will not eat the grass behind it
Pride may forbid a person going back to his home town after failure. Do not dwell on past actions, progress forward.
鹤立鸡群 [鶴立雞群]
A crane standing amidst a flock of chickens
Being conspicuously different (often superior)
Roughly equivalent to: Standing head and shoulders above the opposition.
嫁鸡随鸡, 嫁狗随狗 [嫁雞隨雞嫁狗隨狗]
Marry a chicken and live with its ways, marry a dog and live with its ways
Changing approach and actions according to who you are with.
Roughly equivalent to: When in Rome do as the Romans do.
锦上添花 [錦上添花]
Add another flower to a tapestry
Taking too much trouble with detail to try to achieve perfection. Fiddling when already complete.
Roughly equivalent to: Gilding the lily.
近朱者赤,近墨者黑 [近朱者赤近墨者黑]
He who stays near vermilion is stained red; he who stays near ink is stained black
Taking on the color of the company kept. Adapt to surroundings.
Roughly equivalent to: A person is known by the company he keeps.
九牛二虎之力
The strength of nine bulls and two tigers
Tremendously strong.
开门见山 [開門見山]
As soon as the door is opened see the mountain
To come straight to the point. Avoid procrastination.
Roughly equivalent to: Brevity is the soul of wit.
老骥伏枥,志在千里 [老驥伏櫪志在千里]
The old horse in the stable still yearns to gallop 1,000 miles
Ambitions never fade. An old person still has high hopes.
Roughly equivalent to: Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
龙飞凤舞 [龍飛鳳舞]
A dragon's flight and a phoenix's dance - very powerful and invigorating.
Flamboyant. Lively and vigorous.
龙争虎斗 [龍爭虎斗]
Bitter fight between a dragon and tiger. An evenly matched big fight
Struggle between two equal leaders.
萝卜白菜,各有所爱 [蘿卜白菜各有所愛]
Some prefer radish while others like cabbage
Everyone has their own preferences.
Roughly equivalent to: Each to his own.
落叶归根 [落叶歸根]
Fallen leaves return to the root
Returning to place of birth.
Roughly equivalent to: There's no place like home.
沐猴而冠
A hat-wearing macaque
A worthless person hiding behind imposing looks. Trying to impress too hard.
Roughly equivalent to: All that glitters is not gold.
人不可貌相,海水不可斗量 [人不可貌相海水不可斗量]
A person cannot be judged by appearance just as the sea cannot be measured with a bucket
First appearances can be deceptive.
Roughly equivalent to: Judging a book by its cover.
人心不足蛇吞象
A person's greed is like a snake that seeks to swallow an elephant
Greed is insatiable.
人心隔肚皮
A person's heart is not discernible from looking just at the body
People are inscrutable. Do not judge by appearance.
Roughly equivalent to: Don't judge a book by its cover.
Image by Luo Shaoyang ➚ available under a Creative Commons license ➚
人要脸,树要皮 [人要臉樹要皮]
Keeping a good reputation is as essential as bark is to a tree
Reputation ('face') must be maintained at all costs.
乳臭未干
Still suckling and in nappies. Still an infant. Young and inexperienced
Infantile and immature.
矢口否认 [矢口否認]
To shoot arrows from the mouth
To flatly deny the truth.
水能载舟,亦能覆舟 [水能載舟亦能覆舟]
Not only does water float a boat, it can sink it too
Events and people can have both positive and negative influences.
听其言观其行 [听其言觀其行]
Listen to what a person says and then watch what is done
Judge people by their actions, not by their words.
Roughly equivalent to: Actions speak louder than words.
同床异梦 [同床異夢]
Dream different dreams on the same bed
Not everyone thinks the same.
Roughly equivalent to: It takes all sorts to make a world.
兔死狐悲
A fox mourns the death of a rabbit
Feigning concern to conceal true feeling.
Roughly equivalent to: To weep crocodile tears.
兔子不吃窝边草 [兔子不吃窩邊草]
Rabbits do not eat the grass around their burrows
Thieves do not steal from neighbors.
无事不登三宝殿 [無事不登三寳殿]
No-one comes to pray at the Temple of Three Treasures unless in trouble
Often it is obvious when somebody is after something.
瑕不掩瑜
A speck on a jade stone can't obscure its brilliance
One small fault won't spoil the impression of an overall exceptional person.
心花怒放
The flower of the heart in full bloom
Full flowering of joy.
一鸣惊人 [一鳴驚人]
One chirp surprises everyone
To rise to stardom overnight. Discovering an unknown talent. The story is of an Emperor who kept a bird that did not fly or sing and people wondered why he kept it. One day the Emperor rose to meritorious action surprising everyone.
羽毛未丰
Not yet grown adult plumage. A fledgling bird - young and inexperienced
Still too young and immature.
欲速则不达 [欲速則不達]
A desire for speed but unable to reach destination
More interest in working fast than working effectively. Too much interest in the short term rather than the overall strategy.
Roughly equivalent to: More haste less speed.
子不教父之过 [子不教父之過]
A father is responsible for his son's conduct
Parents are responsible for their children's education.
自高自大
Think oneself tall and great
Full of conceit and ego.
自我陶醉
Drunk with oneself. Narcissistic
Conceited and arrogant.
走马看花 [走馬看花]
Looking at the flowers while riding a horse
To take a cursory look at something. Smug.
坐怀不乱 [坐懷不亂]
Not to be tempted even when a beautiful woman sits on one's lap
To describe a man who refuses to be tempted by lustful thoughts.
坐井观天 [坐井觀天]
To sit at the bottom of a well and view the sky
A blinkered or limited view of the world.
安步当车 [安步當車]
Choosing to walk rather than take the limousine
Turn down luxury and high office for a simpler life. The story is of a scholar from the Warring States period who was offered great wealth and his own carriage to serve the King of Qi.
鹏程万里
Peng Niao flies ten thousand miles
Emergence of great talent. The Peng Niao is a mythical bird of huge size and power that could fly huge distance with little effort. Said of someone of immense potential.
忍辱负重 [忍辱負重]
Enduring humiliations in line of duty
Willing to put up with disgrace and humiliation so that work can be done. Often applied to someone given a very difficult but important task.
Roughly equivalent to: Taking the flak.
羊质虎皮 [羊質虎皮]
A goat in a tiger's skin
Someone not living up to outward appearance. Looking fierce but actually timid.
Roughly equivalent to: All that glisters is not gold.
别别具一格 [別別具一格]
Possessing a unique style
Doing things your own way.
东奔西走 [東奔西走]
Busy everywhere
Be busy; bustling about.
所向无前 [所向無前]
No obstacle in any direction
To be able to conquer anyone on all fronts. Invincible against all opponents. An irresistible force.